Emotional Credit Card Debt: Why Avoidance Drains Your Energy and Joy

Have you ever caught yourself dodging an awkward conversation, putting off a bit of life admin or letting a nagging worry simmer quietly in the background, simply because it felt easier not to face it? If so, you might be carrying what my client Chris recently described as “emotional credit card debt”. It’s a phrase that struck a chord with me, and I suspect it will with you too.

The Metaphor That Sums Up Avoidance

Chris’s situation is a familiar one to many adults with ADHD, but the metaphor is universal. Imagine you have a credit card. You know you need to pay off a bill, but you keep putting it off. At first, it’s just a small amount, but as time passes, interest mounts and the debt quietly grows in the background. The longer you leave it, the more it costs you—not just financially, but mentally too.

Now, swap out the pounds and pence for emotions and unresolved tasks. That’s emotional credit card debt. It’s the build-up of all the things you don’t want to deal with—unspoken worries, unfinished jobs, tricky conversations, or even just the clutter of life admin. Each time you put them off, they don’t disappear. They accrue a kind of emotional “interest”, quietly sapping your energy, focus and joy.

Chris’s Story: The Weight of Avoidance

In our session, Chris described how he’d been feeling worn down, juggling work, home life and the relentless churn of daily demands. When he was tired or overwhelmed, his go-to coping strategy was to zone out—scrolling through short videos on his phone, seeking a quick dopamine hit to escape the stress. It worked for a while, but eventually, he noticed his attention span shrinking and his mood dipping.

He admitted to being in “a bit of denial” about certain things, especially finances. Rather than facing them head-on, he’d “kick them down the road”, telling himself he’d deal with them later. Yet, as with credit card debt, the longer he waited, the more mental energy these tasks consumed. What might have been a quick, slightly uncomfortable job became a persistent source of low-level anxiety.

Chris put it perfectly: “It’s all this emotional credit card debt as well, I would say. It’s like, you know, if you just take the fifty quid hit and just deal with it... but then I leave it, I leave it, I leave it. Next thing you know, you’re turning off twenty-five quid a month just to keep it going.” The avoidance didn’t make life easier—it made it heavier.

Why Do We Do This?

Avoidance is a natural human response, especially when you’re already short on energy or feeling out of control. For adults with ADHD, the challenge is often magnified by difficulties with executive function: planning, prioritising, and following through on tasks can feel like pushing water uphill. It’s tempting to seek out quick fixes—anything to distract from the discomfort of what’s left undone.

But as Chris noticed, the cost of avoidance isn’t just the task itself. It’s the constant background noise in your mind, the sense of clutter that never quite goes away. It’s the mental load of remembering, forgetting, and remembering again. Over time, it chips away at your zest, your confidence, and your ability to enjoy the present moment.

Breaking the Cycle

So, what’s the answer? Chris found that once he finally tackled the avoided task—whether it was sorting out finances or having a necessary conversation—it was rarely as bad as he’d imagined. The relief was immediate, and he felt a little more in control, a little lighter.

He also recognised the value of making time for the boring but necessary bits of life, even if it meant scheduling them in. It wasn’t his natural style, but the payoff was worth it: less clutter in his head, more space for joy and spontaneity.

A Gentle Challenge

If Chris’s story resonates with you, perhaps it’s time to take a look at your own emotional credit card balance. What’s lurking in the background, quietly accruing interest? What’s one small thing you could pay off today, just to lighten the load?

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress. Each time you face something you’ve been avoiding, you reclaim a bit more of your energy and peace of mind. And who knows—you might even find a spring in your step you thought you’d lost.

So, go on. Pay off a bit of that emotional credit card debt. Your future self will thank you.