Part IV is about what happens next.

Not a complete life overhaul. Not a new set of rules. Not the creation of another elaborate system that works perfectly for three days before becoming something to feel guilty about.

It is about using the information you have gathered to make your life fit you a little better.

Part III of this series brings ADHD and high sensitivity down into real stories at home and in relationships, so you can recognise your own patterns and feel less ‘too much’.

For some people, there is a “different kind of too much” in their emotional and sensory life that ADHD does not fully capture. High sensitivity, or HSP, offers one way of understanding that second layer of wiring.

For some people, ADHD makes sense, but not quite enough sense. They may still feel that part of their emotional and sensory life remains unexplained. This is where the framework of the Highly Sensitive Person can be useful.

In Part 3 of my self‑relationship series for ADHD and other neurocomplex adults, we sketch what a healthier inner relationship can actually look like: basic fairness, compassionate accountability, flexible agreements, repair and relational integrity, so you have a concrete picture of what you are moving toward.

This second part of my self‑relationship series maps how ADHD traits, time blindness, emotional intensity, masking and old family dynamics quietly erode self‑compassion and self‑trust, so you can see patterns instead of just personal failure.

ADHD can turn every missed task into a private trial. This article explores self‑relationship, self compassion, masking and shame for late‑diagnosed ADHD professionals, and why being on your own side matters more than ever.

Childhood trauma, meanwhile, refers to early life experiences of stress, neglect or disrupted attachment that fundamentally impact a child’s developing nervous system. Trauma need not always be dramatic or obvious. Sometimes, it stems from consistent emotional neglect, the absence of security or simply growing up in an environment where emotional needs were persistently overlooked. Both ADHD and trauma, on their own, can profoundly affect behaviour, mood and relationships in adulthood.

Emotional control, as an executive function, is the quiet force that keeps your ship pointed towards its destination, even in choppy waters. It is not about being emotionless or perfectly calm at all times. Rather, it is the ability to notice feelings as they arise, to pause instead of letting reactions take over, and to re-orient towards your goals with care.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria describes an intense and sometimes overwhelming emotional response to any hint of rejection or criticism. Some people with ADHD can find those moments not just uncomfortable, but deeply wounding and often out of proportion to the situation.

Friction, in this context, is the invisible drag that makes starting, switching, or stopping tasks feel inexplicably difficult. Friction can appear as a series of small obstacles. Some are so subtle they are easy to ignore, while others are persistent enough to become familiar companions.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious about why your mind seems to leap from fact to catastrophe with the agility of a caffeinated squirrel. You’re not alone. The Ladder of Inference is a universal human mechanism, but for those of us with ADHD, it sometimes feels less like a ladder and more like a high-speed escalator with dodgy brakes.

ADHD can profoundly shape the dynamics of adult relationships, creating challenges that often feel overwhelming but are far from insurmountable. Traits like impulsivity, emotional reactivity, and difficulties with attention can lead to misunderstandings, strained communication, and a sense of disconnection between partners.

Let's get straight to it - the notion that ADHD presents fundamentally differently between genders is flawed. While there are some variations in how symptoms manifest, polarising the disorder around gender oversimplifies its complexity and does more harm than good.

Living with ADHD can be a rollercoaster that leads to frustration and self-doubt. Let's look at why self-compassion is so crucial for adults with ADHD.

The love, trust and companionship of my dogs has been a constant in my life for 25 years and I wanted to share some key learnings that I think are very relevant to the ADHD experience.

Emotional expression requires trust and things start to get complicated when we anticipate the responses of other people. Of course, we want to be honest and kind yet unambiguous and usually day-to-day this isn’t too much of a problem. But it can really become a problem if one of two things happens. Or much worse both.

The first of those things is responding to the response instead of the stimulus. The second ‘thing’ is when this plays out with, or includes, big and important values and emotions. Like trust, loyalty, anger, shame, guilt, respect, honour, love etc.. In these situations responding to the response can quickly become supercharged, toxic and destructive. Personal boundaries are going to be seriously challenged.

I’ve had an interesting conversation about stress and burnout recently. Burnout and tiredness often go together and this can impact cognitive functioning.

We know that those with ADHD tend to have a negative bias when it comes to the concept of success. We can be very poor at recognising, embracing, celebrating and owning our own successes, but we can be very good at recognising and owning our failures.

The love, trust and companionship of my dogs has been a constant in my life for 25 years and whilst I could wax lyrical about my sheep farming days and its simple and rustic charm, I wanted to share some key learnings that I think are very relevant to the ADHD experience.